


Hamilfunnies

by that_one_lams_girl



Series: Hamilton Stuff Because I Can [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, F/M, Funnies, M/M, Taken From Tumblr, Tumblr Posts, cryables, i want death so bad rn, kill me, literally just posts written out, please, relatables
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-06 23:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16397006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_lams_girl/pseuds/that_one_lams_girl
Summary: Basically just Tumblr posts put on this site.





	1. hey alex...

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF SOMEONE HAS ALREADY DID THIS! I don’t want to feel bad for taking someone else’s ideas! But anyways, this is just gonna be short chapters made of tumblr posts about ships and stuff (mostly lams stuff). But enjoy!

**Laurens:** *phone rings*

 **Lafayette:** *looks at who’s calling* Ha! You still call your father Daddy!

 **Laurens:** *answers phone, looking directly at Laf* Hey Alex...

 **Lafayette:** *chokes on drink*


	2. zodiac signs as hilarious hamilton quotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> btw i am a taurus and i agree with this wholeheartedly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy!!

**Zodiac Signs as Relatable Hamilton Quotes:**

 

 **Aries:** HERCULES MULLIGAN!!!! (Yorktown [The World Turned Upside Down])

 **Taurus (that’s me):** WHAT’S YOUR NAME, MAN?! (Alexander Hamilton)

 **Gemini:** SIT DOWN, JOHN, YOU FAT MOTHER FUCK-STICK!!! (The Adams Administration)

 **Cancer:** LAFAYETTE!!!!!! (Guns and Ships)

 **Leo:** you must be out of you gOT DAMN MIND (Cabinet Battle #2)

 **Virgo:** WHO DID THIS, ALEXANDER, DID YOU KNOW?!?!? (Stay Alive [Reprise])

 **Libra:** WERK!!!!!!!!!! (The Schuyler Sisters)

 **Scorpio:** HAMILTON WROTE THE OTHER F I F T Y  O N E............ (Non-Stop)

 **Sagitarrius:** AWESOME. WOW. (What Comes Next?)

 **Capricorn:** IT’S HIM OR ME!! (The World Was Wide Enough)

 **Aquarius:** IF YOU PAY, YOU CAN STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! (Say No To This)

 **Pisces:** we’re reliable with thE LAAADIIIES!!! (A Winter’s Ball)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you enjoyed and found your sign! i will be able to make several updates a day plus make up some of my own, so enjoy!


	3. don’t interrupt me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> washington is a real trip omg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this crappy story!

**Washington:** Hamilton and I have that kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s-

**Hamilton:** Sentences.

**Washington:** Please don’t interrupt me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this. more to come!


	4. funny jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha, nice one, john.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy john’s hilarious joke!

**Laurens:** [narration] Wait, is he into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if he laughs. [to Hamilton] What do you call a famous turtle? A shellebrity.

**Hamilton:** [laughs] That’s really funny.

**Laurens:** [narration] Well, that’s not a fair test. That joke’s hilarious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come soon! :)


	5. found him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was so funny I laughed about it for a good hour or so lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy as always!

**Washington:** *can’t find Alexander Hamilton in a crowd* 

 **Washington, cupping hands:** SON, I NEED YOU ALIVE!

 **Hamilton, knocking over 30 people:** call me sON ONE MORE TIME!!!

 **Washington:** Found him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come soon! :)


	6. hamilton on shuffle part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is me literally right now like wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe you all can relate to this chapter. i was listening and then this happened.

**Hamilton on Shuffle** **:**  

 

**Phone:** *plays Alexander Hamilton*

**Me:** okay I can start at the very beginning let’s go

**Phone:** *plays What’d I Miss*

**Me** **:** Damn we just skipped a whole act and there’s already conflict let’s go bitch

**Phone:** *plays One Last Time*

**Me:** well gOT DAMN THERE IS SERIOUS CONFLICT NOW SHIT WASHINGDAD DIDN’T EVEN GET TO BE A PREZ AND JEFFERSHIT IS ALREADY DOING SHIT AND HAMILTRASH IS JUST LIKE I CAN TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A 186 PAGE ESSAY BITCH LET’S GO

**Me:** This is why I don’t do this to myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoyed! more to come :)


	7. zodiac signs as hamilton songs part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you guys get to see which song you would be! part one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you see your sign somewhere. comment which one you are!

**Zodiac Signs as Hamilton Songs:**

 

**Aries:** The Story of Tonight

**Taurus:** Blow Us All Away

**Gemini:** Satisfied

**Cancer:** The Schuyler Sisters

**Leo:** Alexander Hamilton

**Virgo:** Aaron Burr, Sir

**Libra:** You’ll Be Back

**Scorpio:** The Election of 1800

**Sagittarius:** That Would Be Enough

**Capricorn:** The Room Where It Happens

**Aquarius:** My Shot

**Pisces:** What’d I Miss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!


	8. diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> burr, you sneaky sum’ma bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy!

**Hamilton:** You read my diary?!

**Burr:** At first I didn’t realise it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten novel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come soon!


	9. zodiac signs as hamilton characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol these are funny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this! :)

**Zodiac Signs as Hamilton Characters:**

 

**Aries:** Aaron Burr, sir.

**Taurus:** James Madison

**Gemini:** A. Ham

**Cancer:** Eliza Hamilton

**Leo:** MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE 

**Virgo:** Angelica Schuyler-Church

**Libra:** John Laurens

**Scorpio:** Maria Reynolds

**Sagittarius:** TJeffs

**Capricorn:** George Washington

**Aquarius:** King George

**Pisces:** Philip Hamilton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come soon!! :)


	10. i’m not mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well damn eliza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so funny i was like eliza wtf

**Eliza:** I’m not mad you cheated on me. I’m mad you cheated on me with someone that looks my sister. 

**Hamilton:** She didn’t look like Angelica.

**Eliza:** Not Angelica. 

**Hamilton:** *chuckles* You mean Peg-

**Hamilton:** *pictures them side my side*

**Hamilton:** OH GOD.

**Eliza:** Yep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see y’all soon!


	11. stay alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> essentially how stay alive was played out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy this!

**Eliza:** Please send my husband home, I am pregnant and I want him to be with me so we can raise our child together.

**Washington:** Well, I can’t just send him home for that, I’d need a reason.

**Eliza:** How about the next time he does something stupid and impulsive?

**Washington:** He’ll be sent home tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly this is the most kudos I have gotten on my works!! thank you and hugs and kisses to you all!! :) more to come!


	12. zodiac signs as important moments in hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> these aren’t necessarily funny but they were pretty important, so this is not a repeat chapter. but they might make you laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy once again!

**Zodiac Signs as Important Moments in Hamilton:**

 

**Aries:** And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I’m ‘a compel him to include women in the sequel! (Angelica - The Schuyler Sisters)

**Taurus:** She’s married to a British officer.  _Oh shit._ (Burr and  _Hamilton_ \- The Story of Tonight [Reprise])

**Gemini:** Everyone attack!  _Retreat!_ Attack!  _Retreat!_ (Washington and  _Lee_ \- Stay Alive)

**Cancer:** I think your pants look hot. Laurens, I like you a lot. :3 (Hamilton - My Shot)

**Leo:** AWESOME. WOW. (King George III - What Comes Next?)

**Virgo:** If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for? (Hamilton - Aaron Burr, Sir. or Hamilton, Jefferson and Madison - The Room Where It Happens)

**Libra:** You’re gonna need congressional approval and you don’t have the votes! (Jefferson and Madison - Cabinet Battle #1)

**Scorpio:** BRRRAH BRRRAH I AM HERCULES MULLIGAN! (Mulligan - Aaron Burr, Sir.)

**Sagittarius:** we aRE OUTGUNNED, OUTMANNED, OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED! (Washington - Right Hand Man)

**Capricorn:** _ **this man will not make an orphan of my daughter.**_ (Burr - The World Was Wide Enough)

**Aquarius:** shaBOOM GOES THE CANNON WATCH THE BLOOD AND THE SHIT SPRAY! (Washington - Right Hand Man)

**Pisces:** DON’T MODULATE THE KEY THEN NOT DEBATE WITH ME. (Hamilton - Farmer Refuted)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might update this again later, or i might start a story of one-shots. either way, i’ll see y’all later! btw if you see that space in gemini’s quote, i am not sure what that is about and I apologise.


	13. burn - jamilton version

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol this was really funny because it’s true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoy this as much as i do!

**Jeffershit:** That coat looks terrible on you, Hamilton.

 **Hamiltrash:** I’m rereading the letters you wrote me.

 **Jeffershit:** what

 **Hamiltrash:** I’m searching and scanning for answers in every line

 **Jeffershit:** what are you doing

 **Hamiltrash:** For some kind of sign

 **Hamiltrash:** of when I asked for your fucking opinion.

 

 **Me:** *cue the “OHHHHHHHHH” meme for that burn that Jeffershit just received*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come soon!


	14. zodiac signs as insults in hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first update in a while. hope you all enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoy!

**Zodiac Signs as Insults in Hamilton:**

 

 **Aries:** “sit down, John, yOU FAT MOTHER FUCK-STICK!” (Hamilton to Adams - The Adams Administration)

 **Taurus:** “Yeah, he’s not the choice I would have gone with...” (Hamilton about Lee - Stay Alive)

 **Gemini:** “It’s hard to listen to you with a straight face.” (Hamilton to Seabury - Farmer Refuted)

 **Cancer:** “God, I hope you’re satisfied!” (Angelica to Hamilton - The Reynolds Pamphlet)

 **Leo:** “You stand only for yourself, it’s what you do! I can’t apologize because it’s true.” (Hamilton to Burr - Your Obedient Servant)

 **Virgo:** “Your father’s a scoundrel, and so it seems are you.” (Eacker to Philip about him and Hamilton - Blow Us All Away)

 **Libra:** “Awesome. Wow.” (King George III to basically everyone - What Comes Next?)

 **Scorpio:** “Turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits!” (Hamilton to Jefferson and Madison - Cabinet Battle #1)

 **Sagittarius:** “Oh my god, tear this dude apart.” (Mulligan to Hamilton about Seabury - Farmer Refuted)

 **Capricorn:** “You’re absolutely right. John should have shot him in the mouth. That would have shut him up.” (Hamilton to Washington about Lee - Meet Me Inside)

 **Aquarius:** “My dog speaks more eloquently than thee.” (Hamilton to Seabury - Farmer Refuted)

 **Pisces:** “I’m not here for you.” (Angelica to Hamilton - The Reynolds Pamphlet)

 

Do you all notice how fucking savage Alex is like holy hell man chill out lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i laughed at this for a while this was funny. more coming soon, i hope!


	15. *laughs*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone in the entire universe: *laughs*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it has been taking me so long to update! i have been pretty busy with school and stuff. but i am almost done with the next chapter of a genderbend musical and hammyham oneshots! those will be up in a couple of hours maybe. hope you enjoy this in the meantime!

**Lafayette:** For this to succeed, there is someone else we need.

 **Washington:** I know.

 **Washington:** Aaron Burr.

 **Lafayette:**...

 **Washington:**...

 **Lafayette:**...

 **Washington:** *laughs*

 **Lafayette:** *laughs*

 **Hamilton:** *laughs*

 **The entire U.S. Army:** *laughs*

 **King George and Friends:** *laughs*

 **The entire universe as we know it:** *laughs*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoyed! more headed your way soon!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this! More to come soon!


End file.
